Photo by Helena Lopes
Mother and child. The very words evoke a sense of tenderness and all-encompassing love.
But then, again, perhaps for many they do not.
To this day, I look at photographs like the one above and something in me wishes I could find just one picture of my mother holding me like that. Instead, I'm left with shot after shot of her looking like she's holding a casserole dish with something unpleasant in it—a failed attempt at dinner—stiff-armed, weary, and vaguely annoyed.
I've never been under any illusions about my upbringing—or so I once thought. (That's a whole topic for another day.) For now, I'll just say that although literally raised with a silver spoon in my mouth, there was no actual affection in my family to go with it. In my house, objects and opportunities were the substitutes for love—ponies, horses, pianos, dresses, excellent boarding schools and a solid college education.
There was also a lot of verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of my alcoholic, rage-addict stepfather. Abuse that was accepted as normal and that went unremarked. Abuse I escaped by staying away at school and then hightailing it as far away geographically as I could manage after I graduated from college and set out on my own, leaving all things silver behind.
Hamster wheel
Like so many emotionally abused young women vaulting themselves into the world of the 1970s, I wanted to be tough, independent, practical and smart. No fuss no muss. Sexually liberated. Eyes on the prize of whatever personal goals I wanted to attain—money (of my own), success, fame ... all the achievements society, to this day, still deems important.
"You can have it all," was the motto of the day for women … and it still is.
Which sounded intoxicating at the time and perhaps still does for some. But here's the thing:
That statement is actually a clear indicator that the Feminist Movement—and all of society for that matter—was designed to redress the balance of power between the sexes in solely masculine terms.
What that motto is really saying is: "Hey Ladies! If you run your asses off on the hamster wheel making the corporate Fat Cats money just like the guys have been hypnotized into doing, you, too, can have your very own mortgage, credit cards, and the stress ulcers to go with them!"
To this day, women have yet to be able to boldly step into their feminine power. Instead, we’ve been forced to adopt the patriarchal definition of power and take on masculine power roles in the marketplace.
Through aggressiveness and fierce competition, women have shattered glass ceilings. We've adopted cut-throat attitudes, learning to turn a blind eye to suffering, pollution and resource depletion while serving our shareholders' investment portfolios.
We've won the right to go into combat to fight and die with the men in wars designed to line the pockets of the elites while supporting their globalist agendas of enslavement and tyranny.
Power-brokering females in power suits conquer the C suites. Sexy, leather-clad super heroines in pushup bras wield swords and clubs, knives and machine guns, gutting, dominating and fucking men and other women alike. Dull-eyed teens and twenty-somethings troll for one-night stands in bars, just like the guys.
And by necessity and ignorance we have called this equality.
But it is not.
It’s brainwashing.
Yin/yang
Eastern esoteric science teaches that the energy of both electrons and positrons and the electromagnetic fields they emanate have physical qualities and characteristics. Some of the energetic qualities of the negative electromagnetic charge (yin) include: receptivity, fluidity, flexibility, inclusiveness, connection, softness, roundness, internality, rest, and darkness.
Yin is represented by the black portion of the symbol and is often referred to (for obvious reasons) as the "feminine" side of things.
Some of the energetic qualities of the positive electromagnetic charge (yang) include: hardness, pointedness, externality, action, guardedness, structure, fixedness, singularity, isolation, and light. It is represented by the white portion of the symbol and is often referred to (for obvious reasons) as the "masculine" side of things.
The foundation of physical creation is a binary energetic system called electromagnetic polarity. And yet, creation itself and all the things in it—all the planets and creatures populating those planets—are a beautiful blend of opposite polarities and yin/yang qualities.
In Eastern thought, positive/yang/masculine and negative/yin/feminine are like adjectives coloring the world ... electromagnetic influences molding and imbuing matter with qualities that range across an infinite spectrum of potentials and possibilities.
And yet humanity has been programmed to live out and express only the yang half of the spectrum of life.
For thousands of years, we've been programmed to demean energetic feminine (yin) qualities, labeling them “weak” and "less than" by the Powers That Be. But, as Admiral Ackbar in the movie Star Wars: Return of the Jedi shouted as the rebel forces approached the planet Endor:
"It's a trap!"
Mankind is being programmed to perpetually keep the ON switch ON, the coal fires burning, and the money and profits pouring in. And to ensure this money-making, techno-progress train keeps hurtling down the tracks, the yin/feminine has to be erased from existence. The yin qualities women tend to embody more easily than men, such as gentle nurturing, patience, cooperation, emotionality, sensitivity, and appreciation for the sacredness of life itself, have to be deleted lest they restore balance and sanity to the world.
All feminine qualities—all softness and caring—have to be deleted from both men and women lest humanity stand up and say "STOP!" flip the OFF switch and ruin the game by demanding peace, connection, and respect for life and one another at last.
Full circle
I have a naturally sunny, kind nature. But for the past three years I've been getting in touch with how seriously my innate being has been overridden by social programming, as well as how my family upbringing reinforced the social model of coldness, isolation, and manipulation.
As a result of the inner work I'm doing (with help), I'm no longer brushing the damage done me off with a shrug and an automatic dismissal. I’m no longer thinking and saying things like, "Oh, that was such a long time ago. I'm over it. Or at least I should be over it by my age!" Or "My parents did the best they could at the time." Or, "Society did the best it could at the time."
Or, most deluded of all: "It wasn't that bad."
Yes ... if you're a human being on planet Earth born in the last 100 years, it jolly well has been that bad. We're just so used to the burden of pain and stress we don't feel it anymore.
I look back on my life and see how driven and incredibly hard I've been on myself and others. How harsh. So quick to judge. So impatient with myself and others. And the more I get in touch with my own abuse and the emotional ramifications, the more I recognize the deep unconscious anger I've harbored for being so damaged, the more I can see the same symptoms of abuse in others around me.
I don't care whether it's politicians on the world stage or my neighbor. Friends in a monthly social group or a client. My landlady. The checkout girl at Foodland. The caustic podcaster. The indifferent voice of the "support" person online. I see the damage. The anger. The pain. The withdrawal from life.
And it's everywhere in everyone.
Finding understanding
The pain body of the whole world is there for all of us to see and do something about.
But here’s the thing: We can't do anything about it until we see it. And to see it we have to stop running long enough to turn within and do some deeply compassionate self-examination.
We have to ask ourselves: “Why am I running so hard so fast? Why am I depleted and exhausted? Why am I anxious and snappish, reactive and unhappy? Why am I so hard on myself and others all the time?”
I’ve been stopping to ask myself these questions. And the slower I run (actually my life pace is down to a brisk walk at this point) ... the more time I take between jobs, between daily tasks, between breaths ... the more I feel. The more I see. The more receptive to more information and healing I become.
I am recognizing that the source of most human pain and suffering is the deliberate, malicious, debilitating social programming which lies at the heart of much family abuse.
And the more I realize the truth of this global situation, the more compassion I have for myself and everyone I meet.
The more I acknowledge that I was abused as a human being and use this admission, not as an excuse to complain and play victim, but rather as a lens for greater wisdom and self-understanding ... the more I can shift my emotions and my behavior. And thus, the safer and kinder my world becomes, both inside and out.
Let me give you an example.
Kittens
A little over a year ago I become a mom to two eight-week-old kittens. Brother and sister, Leo is an orange tabby and Scout is a grey and black tabby. Both are highly affectionate and vocal, most likely because I'm highly affectionate and talk to them all the time. Scout is given to cute little repetitive chirps. But Leo? Leo is a whiner. A LOUD repetitive whiner.
When his whiney vocals became his obvious signature move and I realized I was going to have to endure this seriously annoying cacophony for the next 15 to 20 years of my life, I came face to face with the Old Me.
Now, before I started this deep dive into my own pain, the Old Me would have reacted to little Leo with anger. With rejection. I would have shoved him away from me. Locked him outside where I wouldn't have to hear him. I would have held him like my mother held me—at arms length like a smelly casserole. And the whole time I would have been pissed off, resentful, and felt victimized. "Why, oh why God did you inflict this whiney, needy cat on me? Of all the cats in the whole damn world why THIS one?"
But the Old Me no longer lives here anymore.
I realized that the day, very early on, where instead of shoving Leo away as he caterwauled and whined, I picked him up and cradled him in my arms, crooning love songs to him, rocking him, petting his soft fur until he settled down, relaxed, and quieted.
I did this over and over again. Many times a day. For months.
Very quickly any residual resentment I felt dissolved to compassion. As my love and tenderness with him grew, in time, his whiney calls became fewer and farther between. Eventually, I completely stopped hearing him as a whiner—but rather as a being calling for love the only way he knew how.
Today, Leo is one of the most gentle, loving cats I've ever known. Even his vocals are becoming softer, sweeter, less demanding as his needs for attention and affection are met.
As for myself, I feel sublimely blessed. For rather than continuing to live as one more suffering human unconsciously lashing out in pain at what the world presents, I feel and see that I am becoming a bearer of genuine compassion and “mother love” for all that’s around me.
And that’s a gift indeed.
Much love and aloha ~
Check out my recent interview with Regina on Gaia TV!
https://www.gaia.com/video/cracking-the-matrix
Check out the book:
Cracking the Matrix: 14 Keys to Individual & Global Freedom
For thousands of years, every culture on Earth has described a hostile, invisible Intelligence bedeviling humanity, dragging us down. The Archons, AshShaytān, wetiko, windingo, e'epa, antimimos, Satan ... the names are legion.
Cracking the Matrix explores the astounding history and nature of what humanity has erroneously labeled "evil" on this planet, helping people finally see the very real, negative, interdimensional influence that exists behind historic and current global events and our social decline.
The book outlines how to break free of this Force's ancient controlling agenda and how people can stand up in the power of their true spiritual nature, ready to create the New Heaven and the New Earth that have so long been prophesied.
About Cate Montana
I’m a professional journalist specializing in alternative medicine and health, and the author of several books, including Unearthing Venus: My Search for the Woman Within [Watkins 2013], and The E Word, Ego Enlightenment & Other Essentials [Atria 2017], and a spiritual novel titled Apollo & Me. I have a master’s degree in psychology. A lot of TV, radio and podcast show hosts as well as listeners around the world have told me I’m an interesting and informative—even compelling—speaker. To which I say “Thank you.” Talking is something I enjoy doing even more than writing! (It’s more immediate and connected.)
I am extremely blessed to have been called to Maui and grateful every day to awaken here.
For more information you can reach me at www.catemontana.com and info@catemontana.com
Lucky little Leo with his loving human Leo Mom. :) Another beautiful piece, thank you, my wise friend!
Really enjoyed this